


Amnesiac

by AlwaysWatching



Category: Naruto
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Dubious Consent, Loneliness, M/M, Sad Ending, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:00:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28243554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysWatching/pseuds/AlwaysWatching
Summary: Ever since the end of the Fourth Shinobi War, Sasuke has been wondering. Returning to the Leaf was the last thing he wanted to do, and without anywhere else to go, he was forced to just walk.He did just that. It wasn't bad. Boring maybe, but everything felt boring after what he'd been through.He would've kept walking too if he hadn't encountered a familiar Raven haired man that shouldn't have been alive. One that he'd seen die twice already. One who didn't remember Sasuke at all.One Uchiha Itachi.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27
Collections: Cat’s Holiday Exchange 2020





	Amnesiac

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fraught](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraught/gifts).



> This is my first Naruto fic, so I hope I did all the characters justice! I hope you enjoy my gift!

The village was unremarkable. Sasuke had seen a hundred just like it. People who lived their whole lives in one place, loving and hating all in the confines of a few square miles. The same weary and fascinated looks followed him as he strode into town. They were annoying, even if he’d come to expect them. Sasuke had a reputation that had only grown with time. Being one of the key players in the last Shinobi world war, one of the people who “saved the word” as some people said, made him someone to pay attention to. His long list of regrets, bad decisions, and all the blood that was caked onto his hands topped anyone from getting too close though. It was better that way. Answering the same questions over and over again, smiling at kids who thought he was someone he wasn’t, always took him to a dark place. He was ready to rest for the night and move on, continue his search for something that would fill the void that bloomed in his heart.

When he saw a raven-haired man eating silently at a shop, he thought he might’ve found it. Tiny near-invisible scars danced over his pale skin, and he sat with an alertness that only someone trained would notice. Sightless eyes stared straight ahead, but even though he wasn’t looking he was aware of everything that was happening around him. There was no mistaking who it was.

Itachi.

Somehow, Itachi was here.

Sasuke activated his sharingan and stared hard at the man, looking for any signs of genjutusu. He found none. Sasuke hadn’t seen another shinobi in days, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt there were no other in this village. The man in front of him could’ve been a trap, some elaborate genjutsu set up by hunter-nin that not even his sharigan could peer through, but going down that line of thought led to sheer lunacy. Not to mention that the man in front of him was too dead-on. His mannerisms were too perfect. Every little thing lined up perfectly. Somewhere deep inside Sasuke's chest, where the void hadn’t yet reached, Sasuke knew.

It was Itachi.

His brother was back from the dead. 

Sasuke walked forward. Itachi straightened up ever so slightly. Itachi knew he was coming. Itachi’s hand dipped into his cloak and stayed there, wrapping around something. Likely a kunai or other blade. He must’ve sensed the danger that Sasuke presented. Even when Sasuke tried to hide it, he could never succeed. He’d spent too long cultivating an intent to scare off anyone who got too close. He couldn’t train himself out of it, and now it was giving him away.

He took a seat next to Itachi and ordered something, forgetting what it was right away. The food was nothing but an excuse anyway. He didn't’ care about it. He side-eyed Itachi.“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Who are you?” Itachi replied.

“Uchiha Sasuke.”

Itachi went still for a moment, and then his hand slid out of his cloak and back onto the counter. “The last of the Uchihas. I’m honored.”

Was this a joke? Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “There may be others.”

Itachi shrugged. “I’ve heard you’re the last.”

But you’re here, Sasuke wanted to say. “You didn’t tell me your name,” Sasuke said.

“You asked who I was, not for my name.”

“Now I’m asking for your name.”

Itachi nodded and ate another bite of his food. “I’m afraid I don’t know.”

Sasuke frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean exactly what I say I mean. I don’t know,” Itachi said. He tapped his head with a finger. “All that is left here are the ghost of memories. Knowledge with no reference. I am working on rediscovering the world.”

“You’re a man, not a child,” Sasuke scoffed.

“Yes, I’ve been told.”

Sasuke looked around them, checking for anyone watching. There was no one. A few of the villagers looked at him curiously, but no one lingered. There was no one lurking in the shadows either. They were safe. Alone. “You’re a shinobi,” Sasuke stated.

“I’ve been told that too.”

“Do you have a village to go to?”

“No. I don’t plan to join one either. If I stray too close, people try to kill me.” Itachi gave a ghost of a smile. “Are you here to finish the job?”

“No.”

“Then what are you here for?”

The man behind the counter dropped a bowl of food in front of Sasuke, then hurried away. Even he sensed the tension. Sasuke would have to pay him well for staying away. “You remind me of someone.”

“Who?”

He wanted to tell him who he really was. That he was Itachi Uchida. Former member of the Akatsuki, the reason the Uchiha bloodline was going to die, an S-ranked nin, one of the most powerful in the world.

Sasuke’s brother.

He didn’t though. There were things he needed to make sure of first. Even though every bit of him screamed that this was Itachi, he had to be sure. He wouldn’t rush into this. He wouldn’t make another mistake.

“Someone I loved,” Sasuke replied.

Itachi nodded, then reached forward and grabbed a small bottle of sake. He poured them both a bit and held one out for Sasuke to take. “We’ll drink to their memory then.”

If Sasuke were a weaker man, his hands would’ve trembled when he accepted the glass.

Itachi poured back his drink, set some money on the table, then walked away without another word. Sasuke watched him leave. He could’ve followed, but that would’ve led to a fight. He saw it written onto Itachi’s body. It was a fight he was sure he’d win, but Itachi, even blind and without his sharingan, was still a formidable enemy. He had to know more before he followed. He had to check his instincts, grit his teeth, and talk to the only person he could think of who could do something like this. After that, he could find Itachi again.

Well, he wouldn’t be doing the finding, but he knew someone he could enlist to help.

He’d find Itachi again.

_

Sasuke sat in front of the orphanage, henge on as he watched children and teenagers pour out the door. He knew what he had to do, but bringing himself to carry it out was harder than it should’ve been. Killing was easier than this, but he had to know. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t at least ask. And if Kabuto did have something to do with it, then Sasuke would kill him where he stood. He didn’t care about what Naruto would do. Didn’t care that the ANBU was watching him. He’d do it.

He walked towards the orphanage.

Children gave him a wide berth. Even the one who wouldn’t grow up to be shinobi knew that he was dangerous, someone to be avoided. He could never be like Naruto. Never put on the air of compassion and kindness he wore so well. He was okay with that though. If he could get in and out of the Hidden Leaf without getting dragged to Naruto’s office, he’d consider his mission a success.

When he pushed inside, he almost tripped on a runt of kid crouched by the door. He had a scowl on his face and his arms crossed. There was a darkness about him. None of the other kids seemed interested in being around him. The rest of them were reading or talking among one another. Two were playing a game of shogi on the floor. They gave him curious looks but once they saw him floating so close to the runt of a boy, they looked away and whispered among themselves. The smell of food cooking wafted through the air and he heard a familiar-sounding voice humming quietly. Kabuto. 

He could wait though. Just for a moment.

Sasuke crouched down and met the kid’s eyes. He didn’t smile. He knew what it was like to be alone. No smile would ever penetrate the darkness that lurked in the kid’s heart. He knew a truth that might know. It was the same thing he’d told himself his entire life.

“You’re stronger than them,” Sasuke said.

The kid looked up and glared at Sasuke. Sasuke reached into his cloak and withdrew a dull kunai that should’ve been discarded long ago, but he never had. The kid looked old enough to be responsible with it. Or he wouldn’t and Naruto would lay into him about giving knives to orphans when he got the chance. “Take it,” Sasuke ordered, offering the kid the knife.

“I don’t want it,” the kid said.

“Throw it away for me then,” Sasuke ordered, then pushed the kunai into the kid's hand. He stood up, turned around, then stalked to the kitchen. When he passed through the curtains that blocked it off from the rest of the house, he found Kabuto stirring something over the stove, his back to Sasuke. None of the other kids sat close to him. He was alone. Isolated. Sasuke felt a tiny, microscopic twinge of sympathy.

“You’re back soon,” Kabuto said without turning around.

“I have some questions.”

“Oh?” Kabuto looked over his shoulder. He had a knife in his hand. Despite all these years, there was still a latent aggression between the two of them. It was a natural result of their many attempts to kill one another over the years. 

“If someone asks you what we talked about, you’ll say nothing. Understood?” Sasuke asked. 

Kabuto smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were snakelike and taking in every bit of information he could. Sasuke knew he’d gotten him. Kabuto always wanted to know more. Offering him knowledge of any sort was the best way to get him to talk.

“Of course. I swear my silence,” Kabuto said. He tapped his knife against his leg. “What is it?”

Straight to the point. That was another thing Sasuke had always liked about Kabuto. When the time for smoke and mirror was over, the man got to business.

“Did you revive Itachi?”

Kabuto was too slow to hide his frown. It was a rare sight to see. All of Kabuto’s expressions and emotions were carefully controlled and presented. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen through Kabuto’s mask. His reaction gave Sasuke everything he needed to know. He didn’t know what he was talking about.

“No. I didn’t. I haven’t left the Hidden Leaf or Konohoa in some time.” He adjusted his classes. “You’ve seen him?”

“Thanks,” Sasuke asked, turning to leave.

“Anything for an old friend,” Kabuto called out behind him.

_

The house was small and unremarkable, set on a cliff over the ocean in the Land Hidden by The Mist. The waves crashed against the cliffside, serving as pleasant white noise. There was a red medical cross sign hammered into the ground in front of the house. She lived two hours away from the nearest village, but she was close enough to receive visitors or travelers in case of an emergency. It must’ve been her penance for working for Orochimaru, and then him. He wondered how often hunter-nin paid her a visit.

He ran a hand through his hair. He wished he didn’t need her help, but the search would be so much faster with her help. She could do in a week what would take him a month, and he had no time to waste. With a heavy sigh, he walked to her door and knocked.

_

Itachi was like a ghost. Even Karin had trouble tracking him. In every town they stopped at, someone had seen him, but they never knew when he left or where he was heading. Without Karin, Sasuke wouldn’t have made any progress at all.

As they tacked him, he couldn’t help but wonder if Itachi knew someone was following him. The man had been one of the strongest shinobi to live in the past decades. It wasn’t a stretch to imagine he was hiding his trail and would always be hidden. He wasn’t as good as Karin though. She still found a trail for them was that Karin still them to follow. 

Having a trail raised more questions too. Was Itachi leading them into some sort of trap? Was he toying with him? Was he hoping they would get frustrated and give up? Sasuke didn’t know. He wished he did. If he’d known Itachi a bit better, he might’ve been able to figure it out. As it was, all he had was the image of his bother that was blurred at the edges. A simulacrum of how he truly was.

Sasuke and Karin stopped under a small grove of trees to take a quick break and eat rations. It was Sasuke’s least favorite part of traveling with another person. Karin wanted to talk to him. To know things.

It was sheer torture.

“Sasuke, if this takes any longer…”

“You can leave if you want,” he said, staring in the fire. “I don’t care.”

“I want to help you! I just- I have a home now. Did you know I have a boyfriend now? You didn’t even come into my house when you knocked. You just dragged me out here. I— I don’t mind helping you, but this is taking a long time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

He wasn’t. Not in the slightest. He wasn’t interested in what was going on in Karin’s life either, no matter how callous that was. When he picked up Karin, the only thing that was on his mind was Itachi. It was still the only thing on his mind. “No,” he answered honestly.

“You really don’t care, do you?”

He paused thinking, then decided to be honest. Karin had saved him enough times to deserve the truth. “No.”

She sighed. “Is this what you’ve been doing the past few years? Chasing ghosts?” She looked up, her eyes were unexpectedly hard. “Are you ever going to let it go Sasuke? Will you spend your whole life like this?”

He fidgeted. How was he supposed to answer that question when he hadn’t figured it out yet himself? Would he spend his whole life tracking Itachi? If Karin worked at it for a month, found nothing, then walked home, would Sasuke give up too?

No. Of course, he wouldn’t How could he? Itachi was alive. He was out there in the world. There was proof of him in every town they went to. Signs he was more than a ghost. That he was flesh and blood.

He couldn’t tell Karin that though. She would try and talk him out of it. Give him a hundred reasons, all logical, about why he should stop. If he was smarter he would listen. Give up his quest and go home. Find something else to occupy his time. Rebuild the Uchiha compound. Maybe have a kid and pass down his bloodline. Not that he had to anymore. He was no longer the last of the Uchihas. Itachi was out there.

“Sasuke.”

“I’m thinking.”

“You will, won’t you?” she asked.

Sasuke remained silent.

“Oh Sasuke,” Karin sighed.

“I don’t want your pity.”

She shuffled over to him, then pulled him into a tight hug. He stayed stiff and hard. “You don’t have to do this. You could come back with me. Live with me for a bit if you wanted to. We could be…together,” Karin whispered.

Sasuke looked up at the sky above and snorted. “Are you ever going to let me go?” he asked.

Karin pulled back and met his eyes again with a sad smile. “I already have, but I can invite you back. The difference between us is when I go home, I can be happy. I don’t think you can say the same.”

He couldn’t, but he’d never admit that. Not to Karin. Not to anyone. People like him weren’t meant to be happy. They were meant to suffer so everyone else could be happy. No matter what Naruto said, no matter how many times he tried to convince him that wasn’t true, he knew it was. Naruto was the only exception to a rule that the universe forced onto everyone else.

“I’ll be fine,” Sasuke said. “Now get off of me. I want to sleep.”

Karin backed away and crossed her arms. “He’s going to be in the next village. It’s the only one around for a while. You’ll find him there,” she said. She then picked p her bag from where it was laying on the ground and slung it back over her shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” Karin said. “I have a boyfriend to get back to.”

Sasuke looked up at her, then away into the woods. “Tch.”

“You’re always welcome with me Sasuke,” Karin said before she started to walk away. Sasuke listened until the sound of her footsteps faded away entirely into the night.

_

The next night Sasuke went down to the village to find Itachi. It would’ve been better to do it in the morning or afternoon before Itachi had a chance to slip away, but a part of Sasuke wanted that to have happened. It would make things so much easier. He’d look around for Itachi, find out he’d just barely missed him, and maybe, just maybe, he’d be forced to give up.

Unfortunately, he was in the village now and there was Itachi, sitting at a small booth, nursing a small cup of sake. He was almost the only person out. All the other villagers were away in their homes, sleeping, or spending time with another. All the remained was Itachi and the man behind the booth hidden by the curtains. Sasuke turned on his sharingan and gave a thorough sweep of the area before he gathered his courage and forced himself forward.

“You’ve been following me,” Itachi called out, as soon as Sasuke took his first step. “Why?”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Sasuke replied.

“I wasn’t afraid you were.”

Sasuke slid into the booth next to Itachi. The old man behind it took one look at him and his eyes widened. He tried to form words, but they kept getting caught in his throat. Sasuke watched him squirm for a few long seconds, let him take a look at the power of his eyes, then sighed. “Whatever he is having. Please.”

The man’s hands shook as he poured a cup. “I’m- it’s an honor Uchia-Sama but I-”

“Leave if you need to.”

The man gave another quick bow, then retreated from his stall, leaving Itachi and Sasuke in silence. Sasuke took swallowed down his sake in one gulp.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Itachi said, staring straight ahead.

“I know.”

“Will you, Uchiha-Sama?”

Any answer he could give was too complicated, have too much history. Sasuke didn’t want to explain the sage of his life again, especially not to Itachi. “You remind me of someone,” Sasuke said, settling on the lie he’d told the first time he’d met Itachi.

“And you followed me for two weeks because of that?” Itachi asked. He sounded skeptical.

Sasuke wavered. He could lie again, but Itachi would know. “No,” he admitted.

“Then why?”

He should’ve given an explanation then. A brief history of events. A few sentences would’ve sufficed. Enough for Itachi to know that he meant more to Sasuke than he ever realized. However, he knew if he started, he’d never stop. All that pain of being forgotten by his own brother, of being referred to as _Uchia-Sama_ , would come out. And that couldn’t happen. Not now.

Not ever.

“I love you,” Sasuke replied. It was as close to the truth as he was going to get and it was what he’d been wanting to say all along. It was the real reason why he’d followed Itachi for so long. He needed the other man to know.

Itachi turned his and met Sasuke’s eyes with his own sightless ones. “You do?”

“Yes.”

Itachi hummed to himself and finished his drink. “So you’ve been tracking me throughout the world because you love me? That’s the reason?”

“Yes.”

The air went still. Sasuke’s heart pounded away. Adrenaline filled him. It was like he was in a fight, except there was nowhere he could run for escape. No person he could kill to feel safe again. Itachi held his heart in his hands and right now, he was examining it, considering what to do. Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to breathe.

“Okay.”

“What do you mean okay?” Sasuke asked.

Itachi stood up and leaned close to Sasuke. Too close. Only a few inches separated their faces from one another. “I don’t love you, but you’ve come a long way. You’ve followed me, and I am not easy to follow. It’s impressive. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had sex, but I’m willing to have it with one of the most powerful men in the world.” Itachi paused. “On one condition.”

I don’t love you. The words hurt worse than any wound. He’d rather have been trapped in Itachi’s tsukuyomi than hear them again, to turn them over in his mind, but he couldn’t pretend like he hadn’t heard them. He clenched his hands into fists and forced himself to remember that this Itachi wasn’t his Itachi. He was other. A ghost of his former brother.

And he wanted to sleep with him.

Sleeping with Itachi wasn’t what Sasuke had been intending at all. It wasn’t the direction he’d thought this would go in. He didn’t have words for this. He didn’t know what to do. What he did know, was that if he said anything, the magic of the moment would be broken and Sasuke couldn’t have that. He needed him for as long as he could have him. He’d do anything.

“What’s the condition?”

“If I sleep with you now, will you leave me alone?”

He could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. It would be impossible to put it back together again. He couldn’t reject the offer though. Itachi was offering himself, and Sasuke knew he’d take it. It was his last chance to feel loved by his brother. The lost opportunity for goodbye. Saying no was unthinkable.

“Yes.”

“Come with me,” Itachi said, getting up and walking away from the booth. 

Sasuke chased after him. Itachi led him to a small house, then slipped around the back. He withdrew a key from his pocket, then opened the backdoor and slid inside of a small squat room. The only furniture it had was a small, uncomfortable-looking bed.

It would have to do.

“Come in,” Itachi said, gesturing for him to enter. Sasuke slid inside. Itachi closed the door behind him. The room went pitch black. Sasuke could hear every breath Itachi took. The other man’s presence filled the room like nothing else. Sasuke shivered.

Itachi kissed him.

Sasuke hadn’t been expecting it. He’d seen Itachi coming close of course, but he didn’t expect the man’s lips to meet his own so quickly. During the very few encounters he had, he didn’t kiss. It was too personal, too intimate. He hadn’t been planning on kissing Itachi to try and make it hurt less when he left, but that choice had been taken away from him and he was too weak to try and reinstate it.

He kissed back.

Itachi kissed as methodically as he did everything else. He was slow and through and before Sasuke knew what was happening, he was pressed against the door, his head was tilted back, and Itachi was dominating the kiss. Itachi’s hands came up and twisted in Sasuke’s hair, pulling ever so slightly. It forced a ragged gasp out of Sasuke and Itachi took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Sasuke's mouth and press his thighs between Sasuke’s leg.

Sasuke couldn’t remember the last time it was this hard to breathe.

“Satisfied?” Itachi asked, pulling away.

Sasuke shook his head, then membered, that Itachi couldn’t see. “No,” he said.

Itachi pressed his thigh harder against Sasuke's groin. Sasuke’s groaned. He’d gotten hard the moment Itachi started kissing him and now the other man could feel it. Itachi knew exactly what he was doing to Sasuke. He smirked. “More then,” he said, then dived back into the kiss.

Sasuke trailed his hands up and clung to Itachi’s shoulders. Every part of him was on fire. Itachi was all over him and it was impossible to think. He knew somewhere, deep inside of him, past that haze of heat and lust, that this was only going to make it hurt worse in the end, but he didn’t stop kissing back. He didn't stop himself from letting Itachi grab his ass. He didn’t stop himself from wrapping his legs around Itachi’s and letting the other man hold him up as they kissed over and over and over and _over_. Sauske let out a low, desperate groan.

“You sound lovely,” Itachi whispered. “Give me more.”

It didn’t sound like something that would ever come out of Itachi’s mouth, but he only had a second to contemplate that before Itachi started to nip and suck at his neck, make Saskue squirm. He titled his neck to the side, baring more of it to Itachi’s mouth, desperate for more. Every time Itachi’s teeth met his skin, the heat that had pooled in his stomach flared and he lost more and more control. This wasn’t how his reunion with his brother should’ve gone. It shouldn’t have been a brief flare and then nothing. It was supposed to be a fire to burn for as the two of them were alive.

But a flare was all he was going to get.

“Bed,” Sasuke said. “Please.”

Itachi turned and carried him there. In any other situation, Sasuke would’ve felt stupid, but he had no time for distractions. Itachi deposited him on the bed. He heard the rustling of clothes being taken off. He didn’t follow suit. He was going to draw this out for as long as he possibly could.

“You want me to undress you Sasuke-Kun?” Itachi asked. His weight pressed down on the bed and the shape of him loomed forward in the darkness. 

“Please,” Sasuke said.

Itachi made quick work of his clothes, throwing them off into the darkness of the room. Sasuke didn’t bother tracking where. He instead focused on the feel of Itachi’s hands gliding over his skin and the memories it brought back. Itachi wouldn’t let Sasuke lay there and enjoy the moment though, no, his fingers trailed up Sasuke’s chest until they found his nipples. Then, he pinched and twisted.

Sasuke writhed and let out the most pathetic noise of his life.

“Pefect," Itachi cooed.

Itachi lowered his mouth and caught one of Sasuke’s nipples in his mouth. His teeth clamped ever so slightly around the bud and Sasuke couldn’t control his breathing. Itachi’s mouth was hot and wet and it’d been years since he’d let someone get remotely close to touching him like this. The feelings it was spurring forth were an impossible to stop tide. Moans and curses slipped from Saskuke's lips as Itachi worked his mouth over a nipple while his fingers toyed with the other. Then, he swapped and repeated the process. By the time he was done, Sasuke felt his chest was on fire. He’d never been this sensitive before. Itachi was playing him like a damn instrument. How the hell was he so good at this?

“What do you prefer Sasuke-Kun?” Itachi asked. His hand left a blazing trail down his body and shipped between his legs, then lower, to a place he’d never been touched before. “Do you want something here?” he asked.

His voice was almost clinical. It was like Itachi was a whote and trying to igure out how to please Sasuke the best.

Sasuke bit his lip hard.

It put a new light on everything that happened. All of Itachi’s words and touches were carefully planned and calculated, done on so many before him until Itachi had perfected them, just like he’d perfected anything else. Sasuke was just a warm body to him and it made Sasuke feel, so, so cold.

“Inside,” Sasuke gasped, fighting past his urge to sob. He had no illusions that the feel of Itachi inside of him would melt the ice that was growing over his heart, but it would bring him closer and that’s all Sasuke could ask for anymore.

“As you wish,” Itachi said. He planted a final kiss on Sasuke’s chest, then shifted down on the bed. His hands forced Sasuke’s legs apart. Sasuke didn’t fight against it. Before he could wonder what was happening, Itachi’s tongue swiped over his hole. His breath caught. It was an odd feeling. Not totally unpleasant, just unfamiliar.

Itachi kept going.

Like everything else, he was amazing at it.

The unfamiliar sensation turned into pleasure before long and Sasuke gathered Itachi’s dark hair under his hands and tugged. Itachi was all too happy to work his tongue deeper and more insistently and Sasuke was losing his mind. Nothing like this should've been so good. It shouldn't have been possible.

He heard Itachi mutter something under his breath, and then a finger pressed against his hole and pressed insid. The feeling was even more alien than Itachi’s tongue had been, but Sasuke couldn’t complain. The stretch was good in a strange way. It hurt, but not as much as he expected it to be. Little tendrils of pleasure spread throughout him, promising more if he could push forward.

“How do you feel? Good?” Itachi asked.

“Yes,” Sasuke moaned.

“I’m glad I can bring one of the saviors of the world such pleasure,” Itachi replied.

Like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over his head, Sasuke was dragged out of the warm pleasant bliss that had Itachi put him under once again. He remembered where he was and what was happening. Who he was doing this with and what would happen when it was all over. He shut his eyes, fighting back the wave of emotion, but Itachi promptly erased any trace of them from his mind when he worked a second slicked up finger into Sasuke and started scissoring him apart.

“Oh fuck,” Sasuke cursed. “That’s shit-” he gasped.

“I wish I could see you right now, you would be gorgeous.”

Sasuke couldn’t answer, he was too busy moaning and panting at the feel of Itachi’s fingers moving in and out of him at a steady, but relentless pave. His dick was so hard that it hurt, but he didn’t dare risk touching it or asking Itachi too. He couldn’t cum from this. He knew he couldn’t. It was better to lay there, writhe, and let Itachi touch him for as long as possible.

“Do you want more?” Itachi asked. 

He didn’t. More meant things were getting closer to ending, but it wasn’t like he could say no. “Please,” Sasuke said.

Itachi’s fingers pulled out, only to be replaced by something large and thick nudging at his hole. Sasuke tensed.

“None of that. You’ll hurt yourself. Relax,” Itachi said. He traced his hands down Sasuke’s body. Everyone he touched drained of tension until Sasuke was back to being a limp pile under Itachi. It was pathetic, but he was too worked up to feel bad about it now.

“There we go. Good,” Itachi said. He pressed his cock forward and Sasuke gasped as it slowly forced its way inside of him. The stretch was so much more than Itachi’s fingers had been. The feel of it blurred the line between pain and pleasure so much that Sasuke could barely breathe, let alone think. He raked his nails down Itachi’s back, feeling the man’s skin under his hand, clinging onto him for stability.

Itachi settled, deep inside him, and let Sasuke adjust. Sasuke panted and screwed his eyes and tried to do what Itachi was asking of him, but it was impossible. He couldn’t relax and if he didn’t ever relax, then this would never end. Itachi would stay perched above him forever.

Except, of course, that’s never how any of it would work. His muscles relaxed, and then—

Then Itachi started to _move_.

He moved slow and steady, but he pushed in so deep every time, forcing the breath out of Sasuke and erasing his mind of anything that wasn’t this moment. Pleasure, so warm and hot, spread all throughout him, more intoxicating than any drink. Sasuke pulled Itachi down into a long, messy kiss and moaned into the other man’s mouth.

It was as if Itachi had been waiting for that all along. He kissed back with fervor, and then his hips started to snap in and out faster and harder, and fuck this was good. It’d never been so good. The molten heat was building up in Sasuke’s chest and it was too much. He was going to cum that would be it. It would all end and he couldn’t stop himself. Couldn’t stop when it was this good when it was all he could think about when it was all he’d ever wanted and more.

“Close,” Itachi grunted. “Do you want me to—”

“Yes,” Sasuke cried out. He didn’t know what Itachi was asking, but he’d have agreed to anything at this point, any proposition so long as it was coming from Itachi. He wouldn’t deny the man anything.

Itachi grunted in acknowledgment, then snuck a hand down and wrapped it around Sasuke’s cock. Sasuke tensed. He wanted to swat his hand away, to demand that he stop, but Itachi started pumping him up and down in quick, efficient little strokes and Sasuke was gone. 

“Gonna cum, gonna—”

“Do it,” Itachi purred.

Sasuke kissed Itachi again as his orgasm tore through him, turning his vision white. His body became nothing except a vessel for pleasure and desire like he’d never felt before. Itachi thrust into him, once, twice, and then he was spilling his seed deep into Sasuke, imparting a little bit of him in the most intimate way possible.

Sasuke could’ve cried.

When he came back down from whatever high Itachi had given him, all he could hear was the sound of steadying breathing. The gnawing realization that it was over, that this was it, sliced through him again.

“Sleep,” Itachi ordered. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Relief like nothing else rushed through Sasuke. This wasn’t the end. There was more. He pulled Itachi down and curled himself around him.

“I love you,” he whispered.

_

He woke up.

Itachi was gone.

The pain was like nothing else. Itachi had lied. He said the words Sasuke wanted to hear, lulled him into a sense of peace, then slipped away. It was the second most devastated Sasuke had ever been in his life. 

He laid in the still silence of the room. Tears built behind his eyes, but he refused to let them spill. He couldn’t cry. Not again. He’d already shed his tears for Itachi, already comes to terms with his death once. He couldn’t do it again. He had to somehow pretend that his brother, the one person who consistently made him feel not alone, was still dead.

It couldn’t be that hard. In a way, Itachi was dead. The man he slept with was a simulacrum. A twisted reflection of who Itachi had been. A person without their memories is no longer the same person. There is too much distance between who they are without them and who they are with them. He hadn’t slept with Itachi. He simply slept with a look alike. Someone eerily similar.

He couldn’t convince himself that it was true.

It all comes full circle, Sasuke thought. Lied to during every end. Itachi was still inscrutable, after all these years. Still, quicksilver that darted away anytime Sasuke tried to grab onto him. 

Sasuke got out of bed and got dressed, ignoring the soreness that radiated from his legs and up as he moved. Itachi might’ve slipped away now, but maybe Sasuke could find him again. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. If Naruto needed him, he’d return, but every moment that he wasn’t needed, he would hunt and wander. Karin was right. He would never give this up. Never let it go.

He loved Itachi too much for that.


End file.
